Classic myspace bulletin 31: Honk for Jesus

HONK FOR JESUS

We actually have no problem with christians. How you choose to spend your sunday and appreciate the good things in your life is your business. If you wanna put your penis where another guy does poos, we got no problem with that, either, as long as you're both into it.

Really, the best thing about christians is they don't steal your weed - or anything else, they don't get on the P (meth), they often smell good, and work hard, and usually if they're being a prick, it's all good for you to let them know - "bro, you're being a prick, man! You pay your share and stop being such an asshole about it!"

Look at Ned Flanders, he's all good. He can move next door to the Compound.

The church is more the problem. If you wanna love jesus, and give him props for the good energy in your life, sweet, but when you've got some other dude rocking up telling you HOW to go about loving your god, that's when shit gets a bit loose and next thing you got a war going on, and dirty old buggers who've never had a decent root getting up to no good.

See we here at the compound know that if JC is up there, he's got no beef with us, we ain't done shit. He might even be impressed that I managed to get a girls bra off while she was asleep when I was 16, cos that's the worst thing I ever done, and I know it was extremely disrespectful, but you can't tell me I'm burning in hell for that!

And one thing is sure: If jesus isn't a complete fuckwit, and if he really said all that shit, then I'm sure he's not, then he doesn't give a flying fuck wether you repost this bulletin or any other fucking bulletin on fucking myspace.

Did jesus say "OMG I'm so more christian then you = n00b LOL pwnd!!!1!"

Nah. He didn't, actually.

So just don't fuck anyone over, don't fuck anyone unless you at least sort of care about them, and if you have a kid, look out for the little shit. So that way if JC is up there, you, us and him, we'll all be sweet!

More on hell, religious intolerance, and being a Nazi . . . I dunno, at some point. The viewpoint just described is called AGNOSTIC.