Classic myspace bulletin 29: Compound sex report

Compound sex research report


Juan and the other researchers are currently in the lab processing a batch of new research data that we have recently recieved. Please retain a critical outlook as we have already found reason to believe the research is fundamentally flawed in it's methodology and thus scientiifically invalid.


1) 94% of men lie about their penis size.
According to condom manufacturers, only 6% of
men use extra large condoms.

2) The average man is 5 inches long when erect
(no matter what you have heard ladies, that's the
truth).

3) 80% of American men are circumsized. Even
though Pediatrics say it is not necessary.

4) No matter what all the ads say, nothing can
make your penis grow but time (most men reach
the end of their growth by the early 20's)

5) There is no correlation between penis size and
shoe size, hand size, or nose size.

6) Blue balls does exist! It's technically
called "prostatic congestion."

7) Only 16% of men shave their privates.

+Some stuff on the ladies+
------------------------------

1) Only 9% of women around the globe consider
themselves "attractive" (20% of British women
do).
43% of women use the term "natural", 24% say
they have "average" looks, 8% prefer the
term "feminine", 7% say they are "good looking",
and 7% say they are "cute", and finally only 2% of
women say they are "sexy".*

2) An estimated 85% of women wear the wrong
size bra.
3) 60% of women have had breast implants.**
4) 75% of women dont like oral sex
5) 95% of women shave their privates.

+Both+
--------------------------------
1) Masturbation is healthy for both men and
women.

2) 70% of highschoolers have had sex before
they
have graduated. 27% loose their virginity senior
prom night. Only 3% wait until marriage.

3) 95% of men would have sex with a girl after 1
month of dating. Only 10% of women feel this way.

+5 Reasons Why Sex is Good+
---------------------------------------------
1) It is a good workout. Sex burns about 150
calories every half an hour of it. It will lower your
cholesterol and improve breathing circulation.

2) You won't get sick. According to research if
you
have sex 1-2 times a week you are less likely to
get sick.

3) You'll feel happier. You will feel a greater sense
of well-being. Women who have more sex were
clinically proven to be less depressed than women
who dont have sex.

4) Makes you look better- [ problem is ugly people
don`t get any ]. Sex releases hormones in your which make your skin and hair softer and
shinier and tone your physic.

5) (The best reason) You will live longer. Studies
prove that sex makes you live longer. Men who
had sex 1-2 times a week had half the death rate
as those who did not indulge themselves at least
once a month. It also makes you look younger. If
you have sex 3 times a week you may look up to
10 years younger than you really are.

Did You Know
----------------------------------------
1) Having sex 3 times a week for 1 year adds up
to running 75 miles!!!!


*Matt from The Further would once again like to go on the record citing his personal research findings that:

"Each woman's beauty is like a fiery star, a great burning mass in the universe of my heart. How can I compare that light which gives life to distant galaxies when all I know for sure, is that some are close . . . and some are far away . . . ?"


** This is a highly questionable finding that does not match with our own findings at the compound research centre, even given that this research was conducted in California, obviously calling into doubt the validity of any of this data.