Scotty vs Reality (kinda like a Mills & Boon)
As you may know, Scotty Rocker has accepted our request and added Reality Compound!!! So super mega uber happening or what?
But it hasn’t been without it’s dramas though, compound fans!!! Scotty has been quick to admonish us in the appropriate way to express our devotion for an idol of his stature, with respect and humility.
But it’s kinda like a Mills & Boon, where unbridled passions are often manifested early in the story, foreshadowing the turgid, lusty encounters to come.
NB: The producers would like to mention that Scotty has never made any indication whatsoever that he is a homosexual. Any reference to Scotty’s homosexuality is a mere projection of fantasy on the part of Reality Compound, and perhaps this guy Samwise, who suggested to us he might be.
Case in point:
Streetwise Scarlet (comment No. 261 / Nov 28, 2005)
I imagine Scotty has'nt added you because he is really struggling with his homosexuality at the moment and will most definately be trying to avoid all temptation.
Samwise.
TRANSCRIPTIONS AS FOLLOWS:
Sender: scottyrocker
Subject: dick
Body:
who are you? why you being a fuckhead? take my photo off your page and stop being an asshole. U want to make fun of me? come do it to my face. i like all sorts of music so me not adding you wouldnt be cos i didnt like your music. You calling me a homo? you sit on your computer and talk shit cos your a fuckin pussy.your the homo
Sender: Reality Compound
Hey Scott, bro.
I can see how you might have the wrong impression about our thoughts and actions towards you, and I’m sorry if we’ve upset you in any way. It was not our intention.
We are not Fuckheads. We are a bunch of guys who live in Grey Lynn and make hipster music.
I don’t think it is fair for you to ask us to remove your picture from our page. We have not doctored it or changed it in any way from how it appears on your page, and to be honest, would it be fair for Motley Crue to ask you to remove the picture of them from your page? Wouldn’t that come across a little mean-spirited? If you insist, we will consider it, but I don’t think we’re doing anything wrong.
We can’t stop being Assholes, Scotty, we are K rd Hipsters and it’s kinda what we’ve been doing for almost 12 years now. If you feel there is something on our page of a subjective nature that offends you personally, again we are willing to consider it seriously.
We are not making fun of you, that’s unfair. We’re all about supporting the local scene and real people who are a part of it, especially over an American equivalent. Our fan base is constituted mainly of teenage girls situated in New Zealand. We thought you would feel comfortable being projected as a sex symbol, especially as you represent a lot of ideals we respect such as a proud commitment to monogamy and your spiritual beliefs. We thought you would embrace this opportunity to raise your own profile, as well as that of the bands you play with.
And yes we will be coming to your face. Don’t worry about that. We are not ashamed or cowardly. Just let us warn you only this once that any inference to threats of a physical nature are pointless as we are not afraid of physical retribution, and our contempt for it will only incite us and worsen the situation for you.
It’s got nothing to do with our music. Our music is shit, everyone knows that. But we are scene aristocracy. Though our favours are spread thinly when it comes to Hardcore, might I remind you of our presence in the heady days of Balance and Pace Car, we are historians of ways local that are hip, and our archives sag heavy on the shelf. As for Emo . . . well the less said the better. Let there just be an unspoken knowledge between us, that our support will always lie with a New Zealander over an American equivalent. We have no axe to grind.
We never suggested you were a homosexual. This is the message we received:
Streetwise Scarlet (comment No. 261 / Nov 28, 2005)
I imagine Scotty has'nt added you because he is really struggling with his homosexuality at the moment and will most definately be trying to avoid all temptation.
Samwise.
We do not talk shit. Some of our bulletins may be irreverent or perhaps absurd, but are always well received wether on the subject of music, culture, the local scene, science, trivia, sex advice or what have you. We are not a fuckin pussy. A pussy is what Haezell found in her backyard. She called it “Albi” because it is a white one.
And YES, Scotty, if it wasn’t obvious, some of us here are HOMOSEXUALS. We’re sorry if that offends you, but just think that generally we would find homophobia of any form quite abhorrent, and while we cannot claim that we respect your views on homosexuality, we understand and tolerate this as part of your spiritual beliefs. Just remember that homosexuals are people to, and don’t deserve to be victimised for their sexual preferences.
I hope this clears up our position, we honestly felt that the ironic take on yourself you project as this band scene pin up boy was really well done, and a deft touch of profiling. we look forward to meeting with you and seeing your bands play in the new year.
I hope you will be willing to contribute songs, pictures, video or any written copy/statement for our local scene Reality Compound DVD coming in late Jan/Early Feb.
All the best,
Evil Robot
(custodian)
Reality Compound
Style Over Substance
The Further
Showing posts with label new zealand. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new zealand. Show all posts
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Monday, March 31, 2008
Classic myspace bulletin 27: Less than 3 auckland!!!!
Less than three AUCKLAND!!!
New Zealand:
A clean, green paradise at the arse end of the world, full of parochial charm, old world sensibilities, Rugby, Hobbits, all that huha . . . except for one place, where all the money, and all the pretentious wankers who live in New Zealand congregate to build and live in yucky apartment buildings and feel as if they're better than the rest of the country, while planning their move to Sydney or London.
Auckland:
A bustling metropolis of over 1 million people that sits proudly astride the Tamaki isthmus, sprawling to become the 5th largest city in terms of land mass in the world. Auckland was once the capital of New Zealand when the many hapu of Ngati Whatua, fearful of the warlike northerners of Ngai Tahu, invited Cmdr. Hobson to ensconce himself there, until the capital was later moved to the more centralised Wellington.
Of course Compound HQ is located in the lefty/artsy quadrant of Grey Lynn, where evil real estate agents stalk the streets mercilessly. Sometimes we leave Auckland to play gigs elsewhere, but all the buildings are so small and old, finding a decent coffee is an ordeal, and it only takes about two weeks before we have met all the fellow hipsters. Except for wellington where everyone is a pretentious hipster so you don't notice, or Invercargill where you can count them on two hands.
But let's learn more about Auckland as it exsts today:
You can make over $100,000 per year and still can't afford a house.
You never bother looking at the train timetable because you know the drivers have never seen it either. Bus? hahahahaha
You order organic fruit and vegetables online, but eat out every night anyway.
You spend more money on your coffee machine than on your washing machine.
You spend $400+ per week for your room in an apartment with stunning harbour and beach views and European appliances; and spend a total of forty hours a week there, of which thirty-seven are spent sleeping.
You contemplate calling a taxi from your home to where you managed to park your car the night before.
You spend thirty minutes in a traffic jam next to a car that has more power going to its speakers than its wheels.
You know everyone's e-mail and mobile number but not their last name or home address.
You can roll sushi, make pasta and keep your red curry paste recipe under lock and key... but couldn't roast a chicken to save your life.
Your taxi driver was a micro-surgeon before he emigrated to New Zealand
Your co-worker tells you he/she has eight body piercing's but none are visible.
You can't remember... is dope illegal?
You have a very strong opinion on where your coffee beans are grown, and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
A really great parking space can move you to tears.
You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between yoga, conversational Maori or building your own website.
And you pronounce the word Moari correctly; that is "Mouldy" not “Mar-ee”
A man in full leather regalia and chaps gets on the bus and you don't notice.
You are genuinely surprised when you meet someone who was actually born in Auckland.
You get out DVD's so you can watch them in the car on your laptop as you "drive" to work.
You have a mullet but you haven't worked out wether it's ironic or not; you're still looking for a word to put in front of "chic"
P is "boring"
Your hairdresser is straight; your plumber is gay, and your Avon lady is a drag queen.
You work a 50-hour week so you can dress like an unemployed musician and hang out in scuzzy dives.
You are in a band that plays really bad 80's synthesizer/ 70's garage music, but your friends still come to watch you simulate sex with the floor.
Letter to Ambrozia
Now you look here, missy!
I said you were "possibly smarter . . ." - not that I am an idiot, and I will not allow you to TOY with me!
Oh poor Ambrozia! It's a cut and paste romance! Is that what you think? And what? When the surreptitious deuteragonists and the lascivious suggestations have all been flung away like used sparklers, will you still wrench and wring me wretched oh wench?
Will you squeeze my heart with your slender fingers so that the love might bead to the surface and drip to the earth like blood, all the while as you infest my loins [!] with your french banter?
carelessly it is that you impart the name of Rick, the legend of a Grouse that grew from my love for a single word that fell from your lips . . .
Your sorrow? You eat at me like fruit and spit out my heart like a pip. From this desolate internet wasteland of recycled egos I was offered a flower that was you, that in my gentle nature I could give rain, but alas, I was only a cloud in your heart, and like I was vapour . . . I melted away . . .
New Zealand:
A clean, green paradise at the arse end of the world, full of parochial charm, old world sensibilities, Rugby, Hobbits, all that huha . . . except for one place, where all the money, and all the pretentious wankers who live in New Zealand congregate to build and live in yucky apartment buildings and feel as if they're better than the rest of the country, while planning their move to Sydney or London.
Auckland:
A bustling metropolis of over 1 million people that sits proudly astride the Tamaki isthmus, sprawling to become the 5th largest city in terms of land mass in the world. Auckland was once the capital of New Zealand when the many hapu of Ngati Whatua, fearful of the warlike northerners of Ngai Tahu, invited Cmdr. Hobson to ensconce himself there, until the capital was later moved to the more centralised Wellington.
Of course Compound HQ is located in the lefty/artsy quadrant of Grey Lynn, where evil real estate agents stalk the streets mercilessly. Sometimes we leave Auckland to play gigs elsewhere, but all the buildings are so small and old, finding a decent coffee is an ordeal, and it only takes about two weeks before we have met all the fellow hipsters. Except for wellington where everyone is a pretentious hipster so you don't notice, or Invercargill where you can count them on two hands.
But let's learn more about Auckland as it exsts today:
You can make over $100,000 per year and still can't afford a house.
You never bother looking at the train timetable because you know the drivers have never seen it either. Bus? hahahahaha
You order organic fruit and vegetables online, but eat out every night anyway.
You spend more money on your coffee machine than on your washing machine.
You spend $400+ per week for your room in an apartment with stunning harbour and beach views and European appliances; and spend a total of forty hours a week there, of which thirty-seven are spent sleeping.
You contemplate calling a taxi from your home to where you managed to park your car the night before.
You spend thirty minutes in a traffic jam next to a car that has more power going to its speakers than its wheels.
You know everyone's e-mail and mobile number but not their last name or home address.
You can roll sushi, make pasta and keep your red curry paste recipe under lock and key... but couldn't roast a chicken to save your life.
Your taxi driver was a micro-surgeon before he emigrated to New Zealand
Your co-worker tells you he/she has eight body piercing's but none are visible.
You can't remember... is dope illegal?
You have a very strong opinion on where your coffee beans are grown, and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
A really great parking space can move you to tears.
You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between yoga, conversational Maori or building your own website.
And you pronounce the word Moari correctly; that is "Mouldy" not “Mar-ee”
A man in full leather regalia and chaps gets on the bus and you don't notice.
You are genuinely surprised when you meet someone who was actually born in Auckland.
You get out DVD's so you can watch them in the car on your laptop as you "drive" to work.
You have a mullet but you haven't worked out wether it's ironic or not; you're still looking for a word to put in front of "chic"
P is "boring"
Your hairdresser is straight; your plumber is gay, and your Avon lady is a drag queen.
You work a 50-hour week so you can dress like an unemployed musician and hang out in scuzzy dives.
You are in a band that plays really bad 80's synthesizer/ 70's garage music, but your friends still come to watch you simulate sex with the floor.
Letter to Ambrozia
Now you look here, missy!
I said you were "possibly smarter . . ." - not that I am an idiot, and I will not allow you to TOY with me!
Oh poor Ambrozia! It's a cut and paste romance! Is that what you think? And what? When the surreptitious deuteragonists and the lascivious suggestations have all been flung away like used sparklers, will you still wrench and wring me wretched oh wench?
Will you squeeze my heart with your slender fingers so that the love might bead to the surface and drip to the earth like blood, all the while as you infest my loins [!] with your french banter?
carelessly it is that you impart the name of Rick, the legend of a Grouse that grew from my love for a single word that fell from your lips . . .
Your sorrow? You eat at me like fruit and spit out my heart like a pip. From this desolate internet wasteland of recycled egos I was offered a flower that was you, that in my gentle nature I could give rain, but alas, I was only a cloud in your heart, and like I was vapour . . . I melted away . . .
Sunday, March 30, 2008
RCTV #1
http://nz.youtube.com/user/RealityCompound
Finally RC makes thier very first video blog for RCTV!!!
After unsuccessfully attempting to entice friendly but un cooperative house pet Steve the Cat in to cutesy animal video fun, the team set off to town to see if Emo is still funny, leading to a chance traffic light encounter with actor Robbie Magasiva, who famously tipped me in a rubbish bin as witnessed in the feature film "Sione's Wedding".
Robbie was able to speed off and despite the team rolling in the beamer in a manner that would surely outpace the lowly paid actor in his stationwagon, I chose to let him go.
After loosening up a little at the viaduct, Matt takes full emo flight leading to the discovery of a strange and powerful cave where he attempts to manifest into a omnipotent supreme being and rampage across Auckland in revenge for not getting laid that much during university.
Unfortunately security swoops in at the key moment and prevents the awesome supreme manifestation and ensuing rampage from being filmed.
Matt rampages to the top of the escalator before realising his team have been subdued, and the moment left tragically undocumented - matt soon discovers that dressed as a 15 year old emo his usual unassailable confidence offers him no favours this night with the ladies.
This video blog features the song "Scene Fuck (live jam)" which was written and recorded live over a year ago by Matt and his friends featuring Aidan Sine from Catguts.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Classic myspace bulletin 15: Controversial new Rap single from Compound Associate
Controversial New Zealand based rapper MC Peter Blake MF who has been associated with Reality Compound gang members and b-boys is currently in the studio recording his controversial new single “MC Peter Blake M***erF***er 4 Lyfe”. Which has raised a cry of outrage from all those rich yachting twats with all their cash.
We told them to go build another shitty looking apartment block and then they were happy.
MC Peter Blake MF had this to say about his new single:
“The new single is like my tribute to Peter. He lived like a gangsta, and he died like a gangsta, raining hail from the hand cannon, repping up in his shit for his hood and all the little shorties. Peter showed when you’re gangsta for life, there ain’t no price you won’t pay to hold that shit down.”
Word has it that MC Peter Blake MF has joined the Reality Compound in their quest to return America’s Cup glory to New Zealand. “For Peter, it was about the Bling. It was about the gold cups, the big keels, and all of that. He was a thug for life, but he wanted to raise himself outta the ghetto. But the ghetto was raised outta him the night them pirates came up in his shit, that’s why he had to come blasting off shots like a true homie, ruthless to the death.”
“Y’all gotta tip yo 40 to my nigger Peter Blake yo. Word is born. If my nigger Peter was here, he’d straight bust a cap straight in all o’y’all’s head word? Cos that’s the kinda nigger he was. A killer. He’d cold smoke your ass where you stand. And that is real.”
Reality Compound are now working with MC Peter Blake MF on a hip hop rework of New Zealand’s BEST SELLING single of the golden era of 1987: “Sailing Away”
Sailing Away
Sailing Away
New Zealand can do it
Take it away
One people, on the water . . . (sing it, everybody)
One people, on the land
Something a rather together
Something something hand in hand!
Sailing away . . . [that's right motherfucker!]
sailing away . . . [to all my niggers locked down]
New Zealand can do it . . . [hhhhooollllaaaa!!!]
Take it away . . . [it's the motherfucking remix!!!]
up inna clurb!!!*
And the chorus again, repeat!!!
Sailing-
What about that other ad from the 80’s?
“Australia’s got a lot of girls,
A lot of girls it’s got!
Let’s go Air New Zealand
Air New Zealand’s got the lot!”
What the fuck?
*St. Heliers Yacht Club
-----------------------------------------------
We told them to go build another shitty looking apartment block and then they were happy.
MC Peter Blake MF had this to say about his new single:
“The new single is like my tribute to Peter. He lived like a gangsta, and he died like a gangsta, raining hail from the hand cannon, repping up in his shit for his hood and all the little shorties. Peter showed when you’re gangsta for life, there ain’t no price you won’t pay to hold that shit down.”
Word has it that MC Peter Blake MF has joined the Reality Compound in their quest to return America’s Cup glory to New Zealand. “For Peter, it was about the Bling. It was about the gold cups, the big keels, and all of that. He was a thug for life, but he wanted to raise himself outta the ghetto. But the ghetto was raised outta him the night them pirates came up in his shit, that’s why he had to come blasting off shots like a true homie, ruthless to the death.”
“Y’all gotta tip yo 40 to my nigger Peter Blake yo. Word is born. If my nigger Peter was here, he’d straight bust a cap straight in all o’y’all’s head word? Cos that’s the kinda nigger he was. A killer. He’d cold smoke your ass where you stand. And that is real.”
Reality Compound are now working with MC Peter Blake MF on a hip hop rework of New Zealand’s BEST SELLING single of the golden era of 1987: “Sailing Away”
Sailing Away
Sailing Away
New Zealand can do it
Take it away
One people, on the water . . . (sing it, everybody)
One people, on the land
Something a rather together
Something something hand in hand!
Sailing away . . . [that's right motherfucker!]
sailing away . . . [to all my niggers locked down]
New Zealand can do it . . . [hhhhooollllaaaa!!!]
Take it away . . . [it's the motherfucking remix!!!]
up inna clurb!!!*
And the chorus again, repeat!!!
Sailing-
What about that other ad from the 80’s?
“Australia’s got a lot of girls,
A lot of girls it’s got!
Let’s go Air New Zealand
Air New Zealand’s got the lot!”
What the fuck?
*St. Heliers Yacht Club
-----------------------------------------------
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