Classic Myspace Bulletins 2: Little baby bird hankies

LITTLE BABY BIRD SIZED HANKIES:

I can't believe I was listening to the news a month back and they're all like:

"We have 800,000 vaccines for 4 million New Zealanders. If Bird Flu gets here, 200,000 people could die."

Bullshit.

And last week they're all like:

"Okay, maybe more like 30,000"

And we're like: Fuck! 30,000 people? That's heaps!

That's when Team Reality kicked into action and entered the secret Compound:

We must develop and produce Millions . . . of little . . . little wee baby . . . Bird-sized . . . Hankies.

To stop the spread of germs. So they can blow their lttle bird noses in the little-baby bird-sized hankies.

This is where we ran into a major quandry that very near caused the project to descend into debacle. Where exactly was the Bird's nose? Did they even have noses?

After calling in expert scientific opinion, we learned a birds nose was located on it's beak, or bill. They have very poor olfactory reception with the exception of the vulture.

So now comes the challenge. We need practical solutions to a problem that faces us all. We need people of spirit, people of courage, and people of thought to contribute to this noblest of endeavour, that humans and birds may walk and fly, respectively, hand . . . in um . . . wing . . . but then of course the bird couldn't fly so I guess it would have to walk.

So far our best plan is to buy kitchen wipes and cut them into very small squares. But we're still brainstorming.

And still we hold aloft a torch of hope . . .

PS We have even altered the words of our new smash single "I NEED MY SPACE" to include mention of the little-baby bird-sized hankie initiative!