Okay having recovered from the psychological and financial attrition of the latest round of short circuit gigs . . .lets not make to much fuss, lets just get back down to business.
You probably may or may not have realised that Reality Compound was a concept hatched by a bunch of executives – of which I was one - from within the Auckland offices of one of the major record companies, keen to experiment with how social network marketing could be applied in new and experimental ways to promote new acts.
It might not surprise you that it’s not the same record label that Elemeno P are on.
But yeah, that’s why I’ve got 17,000 friends because I’m like so popular, and like, my music is so good and everybodies heard of me . . . like it wasn’t after an industry party I wasn’t at all approached by the regional director of my division, happy with my progress, having added over 3000 hot chicks from Auckland individually by hand, just like False Start do.
He liked what he saw. A young executive straight out of AUT with a communications degree, top of my class, major in public relations management. That’s when he told me. Young executives working in a high pressure industry such as music can’t go it alone. Even the brightest need a helping hand.
That’s when I was introduced to the secret of powdered tiger penis. How and where Goodnight Nurse got their hands on such a product is a question to which the answer still eludes me.
The penis changed my life. Models, money, fame, eyeliner, threats of violence from Scotty Rocker.
Oh and a little thing called fakexcore.
Because it’s not like anything really matters, as long as everyone thinks your cool. And you look hot. And you’re not poor.
It was like some Acopolypse Now shit, I went into the jungle and I never came back. I journeyed into the heart of darkness that is social networking and it claimed me. It all happened so quickly. Was I good kid from Western Springs College, top student, school president, with a solid future ahead of me . . . or was I Fakexcore pseudo celebrity on the internet desperate to do anything to be recognised?
Okay that’s all for now!!! To be continued . . .
I gotta keep my bullies short from now or else the stupid mindless teenage fucks who read this shit will just go back to getting fucked off their faces and taking pictures of their ass and not paying me the attention I deserve.
Don't forget to catch me as a regular guest on the beat dungeon sundays 4pm NZ time - stream it at upfm.dj!!!
Lots of exciting new news in Pirate play, collecting debts from Auckland bands strung out on the tiger penis, top floor fun at the Cleo party, my chances of getting a date with Vicki Lee after her elaborate plan to implicate me as a rapist of 13 year olds, and much much more including of course your opportunities to get involved with RCTV!!!
Which celebrities would you like to see end up looking like the shit eating fucks they really are? Would you like a date with me and the film crew?
Are you young, good looking, love the camera and lots of fun to be around?
If you fit the following description you could be perfect for a PERMANENT role on RCTV as a part of the RCTV Tiger Penis Kids ensemble!!!
1: Currymuncher or possibly Towelhead
2: Fag
3: Bulimic/Anorexic underage skank, liberal with the application of blow jobs
Oh and editors. And maybe like people to do animated sequences and shit.
Don’t worry RCTV’s porn star idol is coming to a high school near you for try outs!!! Wanna get famous fast? Think you can fuck? RCTV is here to make one lucky kids dream come true!!!
Talk soon! Love ya, Matt RC
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