Classic myspace bulletin 33: Myspace Whores eliminated

Killer Myspace whore eliminated!

So this afternoon when we checked our pending friend request we found and interesting young man named "Killer Instinct" from the USA had requested to be our friend.

We of course, will be friends with anyone who likes Ice Cream and likes to play - as long as they know tidy up time always comes after playtime.

So once we assessed he wasn't a perpetuator of hate politics, he accepted his invitation willing. More on Nazis later.

Next thing you know, we check our bulletins to get all the most exciting news from our friends and what do we see?

Screens upon screens of "Add him" "Add her" "Whore Me" "I'll whore you if you whore me." . . . "Add him and I'll whore you to 25k"

Goodness gracious we thought!

And guess what!

WE DELETED HIM!

WE DID!

WE DELETED HIM FROM OUR FRIENDS LIST.

We didn't like it. It wasn't fun.

Everybody wants to have lots of friends, but what are you going to say to them once you've said hullo? The RC boys like to tell cool stories and make fun music that you can laugh at, all of which we want to share with ALL of our friends (except the Nazi ones - but they're not really our friends).

We are also of course promoting many topical issues such as wild moose safety and awareness, and of course are driving the initiative to produce and supply tiny little-baby bird-sized hankies - more on this initiative also - later.

But . . .

"Mr. Killer Whore me" didn't seem to have anything to offer the world, except for thousands more people who also didn't have anything to offer.

How sad.

Perhaps they would have enjoyed this story.

8 whorers brutally executed
tried and judged by a panel of Compound experts the 8 following so-called "friends" of the Compound were deemed to have commited deviant and abusive acts of whoring upon the myspace bulletin board.

A Compound analyst was then required to prepare reports on their suitability to be executed from our friends list by reason of being incompatible with fundamental COmpound standards of decency on the bulletin board.

The names were as following

Jennax™
victorylap
That blank space
b€ð†•J€Rk¥ ™
The ThongWriter™
Mutant Mushroom
W}{0R3.8OT
Jesus Chop


As none had any predetermining circumstances of hipness that would deem them unsuitable, the 8 were executed from the friends list by way of blocking of their profile.

despite campaigners protesting outside the compound for the execution to be stayed, the 8 were pronounced deleted at dawn this morning.

They are with Tom, now. May he rest and keep their accounts.

Classic Myspace Bulletins 4: Hey

Hullo there, friend to the Reality Compound!

Howsit going? We hope you are well.

Our agenda is about bringing more information, humour and understanding to Myspace, and through seeking to build up a relationship of trust with our friends, it is important that we do not indulge in anything that would compromise that trust in our mission to destroy fakeness. It is not our intention to promote our music. Our music is shit, it’s supposed to be.

We here at the compound were just writing to you to dicuss in earnest ways in which we might acquire more friend requests specifically because we DO NOT WHORE.

But we understand it is only through hard work and commitment to what you are doing have you built up your friends list. We are not asking you to simply Whore us because we have asked. We are looking for ways in which we can reciprocate a possible whoring of our profile, appreciating that it is a huge favour, especially as we cannot reciprocate in kind. We can offer anything from a copy of our forthcoming CD-rom, a feature on Reality Compound CD-Rom or show, to the myspace equivalent of doing your dishes for a week. If there’s something we can do, just ask.

Thanks, TEAM RC