Fatal Moose Bite this morning during lecture at the Compound
This morning, the Reality Compound HQ in Grey Lynn became the scene of bitter blood letting when pre-eminent Texan Myspacologist Linus S. Werdstein was fatally bitten by marauding packs of wild moose.
The fascinating discussion on the future of uber web hub myspace.com was just concluding when the enraged beasts broke through the walls of the Compound, sending the crew into a mad panic, screaming and hiding behind furniture. Tragically, professor Werdstein, being unaware of the current Moose threat and the danger of unthinkingly touching strange and unknown moose, sustained a severe engorging from the pack of ravenous creatures. He later died in Hospital of his wounds.
Says Compound trustee and custodian Evil Robot:
"His work on myspace and his support of Compound goals to eradicate Bird flu with little baby bird sized Hankies and challenge the America’s cup with a Foodtown bag and a plank of wood will never be forgotten. A statue made of popsicle sticks will be erected in honour of his memory.”
It is believed that Compound was attacked as part of a wider implementation of actions promoting Moose supremacism. The Moose could not be contacted for comment. Any suspicious Moose seen in the Grey Lynn/Arch Hill/Kingsland or K rd area should be reported immediately to Compound staff.
Showing posts with label Moose attack. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Moose attack. Show all posts
Monday, March 31, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Classic Myspace Bulletins #7: Meandering moose a mystery
MEANDERING MOOSES ARE A MYSTERY
Generally, moose aren't considered to be long-distance migrators. They tend to stick to a year-round territory or move relatively short distances between winter range and summer range. However, the moose that move between the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and Old Crow Flats travel up to 196 kilometers in each direction, the farthest that any moose are known to migrate in Alaska.
The attraction is food. Old Crow Flats provide ideal summer habitat for moose, the biologist says. The shallow lakes and ponds are full of aquatic plants, and several partially-drained lake basins offer both aquatic vegetation and willows, another staple in the moose's diet.
So, if the habitat is so attractive, why do they leave in winter? The scientists still aren't sure.
FOR THOSE WHO ARE A LITTLE BIT CONFUSED OR WEIRDED OUT BY THIS REMEMBER REALITY COMPOUND ARE DEDICATED TO MOOSE ATTACK PREVENTION AND EDUCATION.
THERE ARE WILD MOOSE IN NEW ZEALAND! THEY LIVE IN NELSON.
PLEASE!!! NEVER TOUCH A MOOSE YOU DON'T KNOW!!!
Generally, moose aren't considered to be long-distance migrators. They tend to stick to a year-round territory or move relatively short distances between winter range and summer range. However, the moose that move between the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and Old Crow Flats travel up to 196 kilometers in each direction, the farthest that any moose are known to migrate in Alaska.
The attraction is food. Old Crow Flats provide ideal summer habitat for moose, the biologist says. The shallow lakes and ponds are full of aquatic plants, and several partially-drained lake basins offer both aquatic vegetation and willows, another staple in the moose's diet.
So, if the habitat is so attractive, why do they leave in winter? The scientists still aren't sure.
FOR THOSE WHO ARE A LITTLE BIT CONFUSED OR WEIRDED OUT BY THIS REMEMBER REALITY COMPOUND ARE DEDICATED TO MOOSE ATTACK PREVENTION AND EDUCATION.
THERE ARE WILD MOOSE IN NEW ZEALAND! THEY LIVE IN NELSON.
PLEASE!!! NEVER TOUCH A MOOSE YOU DON'T KNOW!!!
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