Compound Research & Technical Report
A number of serious questions have come before the scientific and technical research teams working here at Reality Compound.
We are still Working avidly on the Bird Flu crisis with the help of our new crew member Rick. The Team Reality America's Cup challenge is still going ahead. We have actually changed our socks, and put the old socks in the Compound washing machine, and this has been seen as a positive move all round.
On that note we have also eliminated Dandruff from the Compound, by buying some special shampoo, and this has been seen also as a major breakthrough.
The major line of enquiry still focuses on wether or not aliens can communicate with spiritual entities. We have actually identified the problem regarding the research team's progress is us basically being scared.
Other key lines of enquiry put to the Reality Compound Brain Trust:
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra cent going to?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
How come the americans choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!" . . . or watch a white thing come out a chicken behind and think, "that ought to taste good."?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped buy the police and asked for you license, are you going to be smiling?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
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